I'm drowning

Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

There is so much to do all of a sudden, and so much to pay...

I think I have a new job starting soon. But there are requirements that might put it on hold. Like the background check, apparently, the school may no talk to the third-party background checker if they do not provide the right papers like the complete TOR and diploma. I don't have those with me as I still have a balance to settle.

Now, with all these things plus the jitters of a new task and the already crazy status of my life. I seriously feel like I'm drowning. Before writing about this things makes me feel better but right now, nothing. Nothing is making sense and it is not helping. I really just feel lost at sea and I'm about to accept that I will be going soon.

How can people stay afloat in this mess? Is this depression?

Loving Vincent: The Truth

The truth is no one will ever know the absolute truth! This movie showed me that. To some Vincent van Gogh was crazy, to others he was a genius painter, he was also described as someone normal and still to others, he was one lonely soul.

I will be talking about what I remembered from the film so, if you have not watched it I suggest not to read this if you do not want to be spoiled.

Let's talk about the production of this movie first. Over 100 artists worked on the 65,000 frames of the movie with oil paint. It was partly funded through Kickstarter. It is the world's first full-length movie made with oil paint on canvas.

The movie starts with Postmaster Roulin looking for his son, Armand Roulin. He asked him to deliver Vincent's last later to his brother, Theo. The timeline was a year after Vincent's death. What followed will make you think about what it feels like to be treated like you are a madman and what it is like to be alone even if you are with a lot of people.

Armand after looking for some time found out that Theo is also dead. That information came from Père Tanguy he was the paint supplier of Vincent. This is also the part that shows that as a child Vincent did not win the favor of his parents. The postmaster's son decided someone else should keep the letter so he went and tried to meet the one that looked after the health of Vincent, Dr. Gachet. After arriving in Auvers-sur-Oise, he found that the doctor was in Paris.

While waiting for the doctor to arrive, the young Roulin asked around about the deceased painter. Finding information and stories that made him think, maybe Vincent did not kill himself; that maybe someone killed him. This was after the fact that his father got a letter saying that the painter felt well and is calmer, 6 weeks before he took his own life.

The movie ended with the postmaster and his son reading the content of the last letter for Theo, now in the hands of his widower. She has copied the letter for them to be able to read for themselves. It sounded like the suicide note that was needed to solve the mystery of his death. That Vincent did kill himself to be with the stars.

This is my truth you may not agree with me and that is alright. We have different beliefs after all. This is a good movie to watch. It can help you know more about Vincent van Gogh and also help you see that there are not just two sides to a story.